Im 28 and tired
been runnin’ an emotional marathon
‘cept ain’t no loved ones waiting at the finish line
no gold metals or Nike sponsorship
just blisters on the heart
when is enough, enough?
“I’m leaving.” is what I tell myself
but the weekends beg to differ
come Monday on the bus ride to work
I tune out the cries from my soul
the unknown is a fearful place
complacency retards my growth process
so I stay inert and tread along
hoping.
wishing.
praying…
my spiritual revolution will unleash itself
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
An Ode to Life's Enigma
I found this ad from lululemon athletica and it rattled my core since I'm guilty of wallowing in mire...
Want to make a fresh start in your life? Think about the end of your life. Okay, it may seem a little morbid at first blush. But we know that people often get the most insight into their life when they are at the end of it. So think about your eulogy. What do you want people to say? Were you generous? Were you loving? Did you take time to tell those you loved how much you cared? Did you take time for your children? Did you take care of your health? Did you teach others to take care of their health? Did you take care of the planet? Did you laugh at yourself? Did you forgive? Did you forget? Did you inspire? Did you teach? Did you become involved in your community? Did you make a difference? And finally, did you wait for the end of your life to decided what your life should be about? Did you wait until it was too late?
In remembrance of Dee.
Want to make a fresh start in your life? Think about the end of your life. Okay, it may seem a little morbid at first blush. But we know that people often get the most insight into their life when they are at the end of it. So think about your eulogy. What do you want people to say? Were you generous? Were you loving? Did you take time to tell those you loved how much you cared? Did you take time for your children? Did you take care of your health? Did you teach others to take care of their health? Did you take care of the planet? Did you laugh at yourself? Did you forgive? Did you forget? Did you inspire? Did you teach? Did you become involved in your community? Did you make a difference? And finally, did you wait for the end of your life to decided what your life should be about? Did you wait until it was too late?
In remembrance of Dee.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
It’s A Bus, Not A Cruise Ship!
There are pros and cons to not having a car in New Jersey.
Pro: Along with rent and credit card bills, I don’t have to add on a car and insurance payment (New Jersey has one of highest insurance rates in the nation).
Con: After a night of shaking my derriere at a NYC club, I have to wait for the first sign of daylight before crossing the Hudson River because the first bus back to my place is at 6 a.m. Hence, this unintentionally makes me a part of the “last call for booty before the club closes” meat market.
Although by car I live a solid 15 minutes from my job, the bus just prolongs the commuting experience to an hour because I have to take two buses. The first bus, the 709, has a pretty straight-laced culture: no one blasts music, folks just pay their fare and stare blankly into space while waiting to get to their destination. I can respect that. However, the second bus, the 28--the 8:10 bus in particular—always leaves me kicking myself as to why I don’t take an earlier bus. It’s always crowded so sometimes I have to stand until the high schoolers get off, the bus driver seems to have confused the residential roads for the roads of Jamaica, and the “airs” certain folks exude, take “Grady” for example.
Grady is a short, 40 or 50-something, Caribbean man who thinks he’s a modern day Casanova Brown. He always sits slumped in his seat like he’s a 15-year-old jock disinterested in algebra. I’ve observed him flirting with women passengers (even a woman bus driver) and even giving daps to “thugs” who prefer to sit in the back of the bus. When I board buses, I make a point to put on my “b*&ch please” face to deter unwanted attention and I am certain Grady gets my point.
Honestly, I don’t give a care about Grady’s flirting or constant need for approval for his existence from the thugs (I’m sure they don’t think much of him) it’s just that Grady thinks the New Jersey Transit BUS is a Carnival CRUISE LINE. Every day, even if the bus is packed, Grady finds a way to maneuver up and down the bus making small talk and flirting--all the bus needs is music, cocktails and a body of water.
Then there’s Melford, Grady’s coworker, an older white guy who seems to have lost at love several times in his life. He’s poorly dressed, soft-spoken and is overdue for retirement. Everyday, Melford brings Grady the morning paper and sometimes coffee. I’ve even heard Grady shout from the back of the bus “Melford, you got the paper?” I shake my head in disgust and think, “Negro, what is so wrong with your pockets and hands that you overly rely on an elderly man to bring your paper and coffee?” Of course if Melford is sitting in the front of the bus, this gives Grady extra SHOWTIME giving daps and flirting along the way.
I’m elated when Grady and Melford get off the bus at a cemetery, I want to yell “Hey, Grady, there lies your dignity you egotistical son-of-a-b&^ch!
Man, I need to catch an earlier bus.
Pro: Along with rent and credit card bills, I don’t have to add on a car and insurance payment (New Jersey has one of highest insurance rates in the nation).
Con: After a night of shaking my derriere at a NYC club, I have to wait for the first sign of daylight before crossing the Hudson River because the first bus back to my place is at 6 a.m. Hence, this unintentionally makes me a part of the “last call for booty before the club closes” meat market.
Although by car I live a solid 15 minutes from my job, the bus just prolongs the commuting experience to an hour because I have to take two buses. The first bus, the 709, has a pretty straight-laced culture: no one blasts music, folks just pay their fare and stare blankly into space while waiting to get to their destination. I can respect that. However, the second bus, the 28--the 8:10 bus in particular—always leaves me kicking myself as to why I don’t take an earlier bus. It’s always crowded so sometimes I have to stand until the high schoolers get off, the bus driver seems to have confused the residential roads for the roads of Jamaica, and the “airs” certain folks exude, take “Grady” for example.
Grady is a short, 40 or 50-something, Caribbean man who thinks he’s a modern day Casanova Brown. He always sits slumped in his seat like he’s a 15-year-old jock disinterested in algebra. I’ve observed him flirting with women passengers (even a woman bus driver) and even giving daps to “thugs” who prefer to sit in the back of the bus. When I board buses, I make a point to put on my “b*&ch please” face to deter unwanted attention and I am certain Grady gets my point.
Honestly, I don’t give a care about Grady’s flirting or constant need for approval for his existence from the thugs (I’m sure they don’t think much of him) it’s just that Grady thinks the New Jersey Transit BUS is a Carnival CRUISE LINE. Every day, even if the bus is packed, Grady finds a way to maneuver up and down the bus making small talk and flirting--all the bus needs is music, cocktails and a body of water.
Then there’s Melford, Grady’s coworker, an older white guy who seems to have lost at love several times in his life. He’s poorly dressed, soft-spoken and is overdue for retirement. Everyday, Melford brings Grady the morning paper and sometimes coffee. I’ve even heard Grady shout from the back of the bus “Melford, you got the paper?” I shake my head in disgust and think, “Negro, what is so wrong with your pockets and hands that you overly rely on an elderly man to bring your paper and coffee?” Of course if Melford is sitting in the front of the bus, this gives Grady extra SHOWTIME giving daps and flirting along the way.
I’m elated when Grady and Melford get off the bus at a cemetery, I want to yell “Hey, Grady, there lies your dignity you egotistical son-of-a-b&^ch!
Man, I need to catch an earlier bus.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Yo, I'm in the Buildin'!
I've arrived! Time to get started...
My life sort of choatic right now: moving (again), shows (Amel Larrieux tommorow night at the Blue Note!), and wondering...wondering what the heck my next move will be! Thought I'd try my hand at this here blog thing and see where it take me...or I take it. :) I'm down to the wire with packing and will have to pull an all nighter since I procrastinated. I mean, it was just friggin' October 4! I will miss this place since it was my first "official" apartment: cozy, hardwood floors, quiet neighborhood. The only thing I won't miss are the cold ass winters! I have learned that I must be control of my own heat. I'm sure PSE&G will love me.
Well the sun is setting and my boxes and suitcases are waiting...
Stay Gold.
My life sort of choatic right now: moving (again), shows (Amel Larrieux tommorow night at the Blue Note!), and wondering...wondering what the heck my next move will be! Thought I'd try my hand at this here blog thing and see where it take me...or I take it. :) I'm down to the wire with packing and will have to pull an all nighter since I procrastinated. I mean, it was just friggin' October 4! I will miss this place since it was my first "official" apartment: cozy, hardwood floors, quiet neighborhood. The only thing I won't miss are the cold ass winters! I have learned that I must be control of my own heat. I'm sure PSE&G will love me.
Well the sun is setting and my boxes and suitcases are waiting...
Stay Gold.
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